Daily Thoughts 4

Moving my heart

Yesterday was a day filling with noticing fear. How it surrounds my heart and blocks my throat, preventing me from listening to myself and speaking my truth. The old stories I tell myself about how I can’t handle certain things, or how I need to lower the bar so I can manage, are the stuff that make up this protective layer. The layer I hope will protect me from pain and disappointment, actually just protects me from reaching to find my limits. Those limits are out there somewhere, but I don’t even know where to begin looking for them because the protective layer holds be back. 

I want to shed that layer from my heart and discharge it into the world. I have strong feet to ground me and steady breath to rest in, and when I sink into those constants I can let go of the fear. That layer of fear is tricky. It looks like it has protected me by keeping me and my expectations small. In this small little risk free place I don’t have to look at failure and falling. If I keep it easy I will only see success, which sounds great, except it has become a cage. My fear has become a cage around my heart and my life. So I am working to shed my cage of fear so I can break free and see the disappointment. My breath and feet serve me in ways that my fear does not. I will lean into those for security.